A few months ago I facilitated a group discussion about legacies – what they are and what we hope they will be. One woman questioned the topic and wondered why we were bothering to think about what we would leave behind after we die. Her thoughts were centered around how she could make a difference in the world today while she was still here. Interestingly, it is by paying attention to how we live our lives today that we leave a memorable legacy.
Whether you think about it or not, you’ll leave a legacy. Your life impacts others and those others will carry an impression of you forward with them. Why not do what you can to make it positive? The bonus for you is that by considering your legacy, it also helps make your life more meaningful now.
What is your legacy? It is defined as a gift of property, especially personal property, and as money, by will or by bequest. It is also defined as anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor. In a research study, the concept of legacy is described as having four pillars:
Values and life lessons
Instructions and wishes to be fulfilled
Personal possessions of emotional value
Financial assets and real estate
What the researchers found is that baby boomers and their parents are more concerned about their legacy of family stories then they are about their material possessions and money.
A legacy of family stories is also important to the resiliency of young people, and a study conducted by Drs. Marshall Duke and Robin Fivush involved asking adolescents twenty questions about their family history. They found that children who heard more family stories had higher self-esteem, lower levels of anxiety, fewer behavioral problems, better outcomes in difficult situations, better family functioning, and greater beliefs in their ability to affect their own lives.
It turns out that the practice of assessing your legacy by reviewing your life can also enhance your mental health. Therapists sometimes use a practice called life review therapy to help patients.
Attending to your own legacy is an important function of your life now. One way to do that is to write an ethical will or “legacy letter.” Rabbi Jack Riemer and Dr. Nathaniel Stampler say, “…the impulse to write it is deeply human as well as sanctified by tradition.” They suggest you address numerous topics such as:
These were the formative events of my life…
This is the world from which I came…
These are some of the important lessons that I have learned in my life…
These are the people who influenced me the most…
These are some of the favorite possessions that I want you to have and these are the stories that explain what makes these things so precious to me…
These are causes for which members of our family have felt a sense of responsibility and I hope you will too…
These are the mistakes that I regret having made the most in my life that I hope you will not repeat…
This is my definition of true success…
This is how I feel as I look back over my life…
I would like to ask your forgiveness for… and I forgive your for…
I want you to know how much I love you and how grateful I am to you for…
Stephen Covey said, “People are internally motivated by their own four needs: to live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy.” We want to help you meet those needs.
This article is adapted and originally appeared in The Centre County Gazette.